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| Canberra - Parliament House |
So There you go, one of my picture at Canberra. (I thought it is fair to say Sydney was awesome and putting Canberra as my picture in this blog :P)
I was thinking over and over what to blog, planned a bit of a thing to blogs from Sydney as well but then when I signed in, I was reminded by God upon my own Struggles with Him that may help others :)
Today I messaged my Leader's wife in church (GARAM Ministry - I would love to give the website but it is gonna be updated a preview is here - GARAM Ministry) namely Kak Ina. So yeah I was telling her a bit of my struggles.
I believe that God will perform His will at His own Time and Pace! but yeah sometimes it is fast and sometimes it is instant. For me, It was instant. It was quick and I started to struggle by Fearing and Doubting it.
To make it easier, here is what happened to me:
I am trying to know more of God by undertaking certain classes in a church that converted me into a Believer (MPC). then I have this urge to go to another church which is GARAM Ministry (SALT Ministry - link as above). This was quick and I started questioning and using my brain to counter God's demand:
Basically
M= God, Can I do it?
G= Yes
M= God, Am a New Believer... Don't think am able!
G= Yes you can
M= Then God how come not here but I have to move?
G= I have my own Reasons!
To be simple, it was like that. Then I prayed, prayed harder to ask God more questions and He just created a path of directions that leads me and confirmed His Will.
How?
1. I work on Sundays and MPC church is on Sundays while Salt Ministry is on Saturdays
2. I started to see that Salt Ministry's Food is something that I'm craving for and it can satisfy me and make me grow
3. It is a place where I can contribute more.
4. A confirmation through Biblical Scriptures was given to me (Revelation 2:8-11)
Then 2nd event:
I went for a camp from MPC called as Champions Gathering. Over there, I received Holy Spirit Baptism as illustrated in my previous blog During my third fall, where Jesus put His hand on my chest, He asked me to go over to the person who was taken care by the pastors, reverends and seniors of the church and tell her that she needs to believe in Jesus with faith and He is in front of her.
Now my debate:
M: God, I just received Holy Spirit Baptism. The seniors are there, who am I to do it in front of them? What can I do?
G: I want you to do it and Just Do It!
M: Ok God, I'll do it but will it work?
G: I am with you and have Faith!
M: errr.......
Well Hopefully it worked... I went there and just prayed for the girl and told her, believe in Him with your Faith and He is in front of you! The thing is I myself don't have that 100% faith that I can do it. I don't think that it affects so much X(
Then for this as well, God taught me upon my DJs on W3D4 and W3D6. and even written on
Matthew 21:21
(21) And Jesus answered them, Truly I say to you, if you have faith (a firm relying trust) and do not doubt, you will not only do what has been done to the fig tree, but even if you say to this mountain, Be taken up and cast into the sea, it will be done.
Proverbs 3:5
(5) Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.
If only I have Faith for myself....
My struggles are actually FAITH... Telling people is easy, Have Faith..... How about myself?
Nothing much will I write again, I just hope that we can Investigate and search our Hearts for our struggles upon Him (Psalm 139:23), and keep pursuing Him. I will say to all of you, Have Faith and Seek Him.
Then other than faith, I struggle with Portrait. What do I mean by Portrait? Portrait is an image.
I'm scared that I portray the wrong image of God in me. I don't like and don't want to be an extremist, I still do wrong things sometimes and yada yada yada. I fear that when people see me, I may Tarnish God's Image in me. I discussed this with Kak Ina and was relieved that now I know that God is performing His works in me.
Of course amendments will be done. It is like people trying to construct the roads, They don't just put on the new layer on top of the old road, they have to drill, dig and destroy some parts of the existing road (which is ugly because it is like a crack and yada yada yada) to put a new smooth road after.
I met my "Girl" Best friends at Sydney, when they saw me performing my DJ, they commented:
1: can't you be normal? you are like an extremist
2: what happened to you? why are you so religious now?
M: Nothing Changed, I am still the same but I'm trying to be "Right through God!"
(a note on using "" on the girl because I did a mistake previously when writing a Christmas card with the same intention as above but I wrote it "My Best Girl Friend" --- Silly me but I learned from my mistakes XD)
My fears were in front of me there, people are starting to realize my changes. Some may view that I'm being an extremist, some may view that I'm crazy, some may view me as not "Normal", some will praise the Lord that I have changed, yada yada yada.
I discussed the matter with Kak Ina and she explained to me that God is doing His works in me. I was relieved and I can accept now for whatever He is performing in me.
So now I know my Struggles, I know how to handle them now, So as I said, it is your turn to search and investigate your own Struggles but fear not! God will give us armories to prepare us for war. If you think that our Struggles are like the walls of Jericho, think it this way, Joshua and His army only circles the walls and it crumbles (Joshua 6).
It is His will and not ours! He will perform and not us. It is not us who wants Him but He is the one who wants us!
So If you want my answer, I surrender myself to Him and allow Him to Rule over me and direct me. He is the only that I worship and the only worthy to be called as my Lord, my King, and my Savior.
So If you want my answer, I surrender myself to Him and allow Him to Rule over me and direct me. He is the only that I worship and the only worthy to be called as my Lord, my King, and my Savior.
God Bless,
SS675
I'm a Growing Weed and a Champion!
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